


If you're God, I'm joining the religion

by kurisurent



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Big Reveal, Deadpool - Freeform, Deadpool Spoilers, Deadpool being Deadpool, Deadpool/Spiderman - Freeform, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Identity Reveal, Illegal Activities, M/M, Other, Secret Identity, Spideypool - Freeform, spiderman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:39:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28280022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurisurent/pseuds/kurisurent
Summary: Peter runs a very successful club/bar/super-cool-illegal-gathering-place, not only while being Spider-Man, but while crushing on the quiet man Wade who frequently visits. Will he fess up and tell his feelings? Maybe even cop a date? Or will his secret identity and friendship with Deadpool get in the way?
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102





	If you're God, I'm joining the religion

**Author's Note:**

> tags added soon, this is a WIP
> 
> if anyone wants to proofread chapters and get them early before I post them, please dm me on insta @decorabells

It all started after Sister Margaret's fell in. Then Peter became the God of crime, basically. 

When nobody had anywhere to turn for their illegal activities, such as a place to find drugs, weapons, or even an assassin, things got a little wild. People starting killing for themselves. Selling drugs on the streets to people who didn't want nor need them. Getting faulty weapons from the internet. To the Spider-Man in him, it made his job so much worse. And to the Peter in him, it made his life so much better. 

He came up with a plan to get people off the streets. To keep the crime right under his nose.  
And it worked. 

He made his *own* Sister Margaret's. And he called it Spider Season.  
The criminals ate that shit up.

Especially considering the name originated from the club's first challenge, the one nobody could beat: Capture Spider-Man and bring him in. 

Everyone loved it. They all had a collective hatred for Spider-Man, so it brought everyone together. Not only that, but since Spider-man was running it, he couldn't be captured during their open hours, and Spider-Man himself wouldn't try to shut it down. It was perfect. 

It took a while for things to pick up, but when they did, they did. 

The place, located across town, through a small door in an abandoned street ally, was packed every weekday. Open only during days, only Monday through Friday, and yet still people rushed in the second the doors opened. Peter specifically opened it in an area the police didn't monitor close, an area where criminals hung out and crime ran loose. He had a hold on the crime, he knew about the crimes and he saw them, kept them right under his nose. If anything got out of hand, he was there to shut it down. It was smart. The assassinations and weapons dealing and drugs were going to happen anyway, so why not keep it in a place where he knows what's headed for him? He knew where most people would be and when. That way, in his free time, he could turn people into the police. He could also monitor who and when people were killed. He'd always do his research on a person before accepting an order request, to make sure they really deserved it. He didn't like the killing. But it was bound to happen in worse ways if he didn't do it like this.

But Wednesdays were his slowest. And this particular Wednesday, about 6 months after he'd opened, was his slowest yet. A few people say at the dark red themed bar, a few sat at the booths in the back, and nobody sat at the end of the bar where Wade usually stayed. 

Wade.

He liked the guy, he really did. He came in, took a few orders to kill and left. Usually. At times he'd stay, have a few words with people, nothing much. He figured this guy was trying to keep things on the down-low until he knew the full capacity at which Spider Season ran. If anyone were to figure out how this place worked, it would have to be Wade, (and he definitely wasn't saying that just because the guy was sexy as hell and looked smart.) 

The scars? He'd seen worse in his line of work. They didn't bother him one bit. What did bother him, though, was the man's massive muscles, and by bother, he meant they made him feel some sorta way he didn't feel for most people. For almost anyone, actually.

His favorite part of the week was seeing Wade. Sometimes he'd keep big orders or long-distance kill orders from Wade just to be able to see him more. He was a little attached, and unfortunately couldn't get the guy to say more than a few words to him. Sometimes it felt like Wade was holding so much back. Like the guy had a huge personality in there just begging to be let out...

-

Around closing time, he was wiping down the counters when he noticed Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome come in. Of course, he'd never call him that to his face. He became a blushing mess when Wade interacted with him. 

The man sat at the end of the bar like usual, and Peter grabbed him a drink like usual. He could tell this guy was a mutant. Nobody knew Peter was a mutant, though. But they knew not to mess with him. It was just a rumour, but some, including Peter himself, heard that anyone who liked to flirt or mess with Peter would be jumped the next day. They didn't know by who. It was just a rumour. But it was a rumour that kept Peter from being harassed, and he liked that. He was thankful for it, in the very least. He knew he was attractive to these men. Small frame, cute face, charming attitude. He was kind to most. And they liked that out of a man.

Peter kept his kill requests in red folders. He dropped a stack of hand-picked orders in front of Wade, ones that wouldn't take the man very long, that would leave him coming back for more. 

"So, uh, how did the uh, last one go?" God, Wade must think Peter is so unprofessional. He /sounded/ unprofessional. He sounded like a total baby. 

Wade grunted, which Peter took positively, and responded despite not getting a clear answer. 

"Good."

He went back to wiping the counters, and when he was done, Wade had picked a few to keep. He took the leftovers and Wade left. 

And that was it. That was how most of their interactions went. So much for a crush, right? 

-

By the time closing came, Peter had racked up a couple hundred in alcohol and commission sales from completed orders. He only took 5% of what the customer was paying to have someone killed, but since he managed everything himself, it all came to him. 

He suited up immediately after everyone had left, and exited out of the fire escape. If anyone were waiting for him to leave, they'd never see it. And he knew that sometimes there were a few lurkers. He'd let them be for now.

-

After swinging around for a bit, he rested on top of a tall building to listen to the police scanner. He liked to stay on top of things in the crime industry. He didn't want people to think he was useless because he got somewhere too late or wasn't catching everything important.

He often had a follower, too. Deadpool liked to lurk around, despite being a so-called "anti-villian", so that he could, and I quote, "catch sight of that boot-aye." 

Peter didn't mind the company. He was lonely. Touch-starved, even. The occasional arm around the shoulder or pat on the back was welcomed, and even encouraged. 

"Hey! You're awfully close to the bad part of town, ya know. Creeps like to lurk around here. Including me. What're you doing here?" 

Peter turned around to see Deadpool climbing up over the ledge of the building. How he got there? Nobody knows. Peter wouldn't ask. 

He listened to Deadpool almost scold him for being closer to Spider Season, which was set in the bad part of town. Peter usually headed more toward the center of the city when he patrolled, more big crime and less petty crime, but today he was here. 

"I can do what I want. You're not my mom, you know. And I can handle myself. Don't ask me what I'm doing here like I'm not supposed to be here." He replied, amused, but not mad. 

"Just a fellow red-wearer to another red-wearer, I'm just looking out for you!" 

He sat down beside of Peter, dangling his legs over the edge of the building like a child. 

"Sooo, whatcha up to?" He asked, comically giggling like a schoolgirl. 

Peter glanced over at him. He was unamused.

"My job."

Deadpool rolled his eyes. 

"Not your job, buddy. The police's job. Even though they don't do it right. What else are you doing? Are you busy? There's a new Mexican place not far from here and I wanted to take you out on a date~ wouldn't that be fun? But I get it, you're too busy doing 'your job.' You know, you never relax do you? I so curious as to what you do outside of this. Like, who you are and all that jizz. But I won't pry, you know me too well to assume I'd do that. But if you ever wanted to tell me your secret identity,~~ I'd be all ears." 

God, he never stopped talking sometimes. 

"Maybe later. And it's not a date." He smirked at the man. "You know I don't do those." 

"As far as I'm concerned, every outing we've spend together has been a date. So, we should be dating by now. That means we have to kiss and stuff."

"And stuff?"

"And stuff. I'll spare you the details. Unless you want to hear them..." 

"No!"

"Fine. Next time don't inquire and I won't elaborate."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the police scanner together. It was pretty slow today in this part of town. He had no idea what it was where he usually patrolled, but he wasn't concerned with that today. Even though he had enough money to sustain himself and make rent, he still needed rest sometimes. 

"You know what? Let's go to that Mexican place. But I'm keeping the police scanner on just in case."

"HELL YEAH! Follow me! Actually, how about I climb on your back and you can web-shoot us there?" 

"How about not?" 

"Yeah, you're right, you're just a twig. Poor little old you could hardly carry a /fly/, let alone me..." He teased. 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Fuck you..." He started, and gave in. "Get on then." He pointed to his back.


End file.
